


The Egocentric Thing

by HelloThere3306



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Gen, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Virgil is a bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26624449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloThere3306/pseuds/HelloThere3306
Summary: Virgil and Roman and self hate.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	The Egocentric Thing

Virgil, being anxiety, has a certain amount of wisdom regarding the hatred of oneself. It ties into the role he plays more than it should, really, but Virgil has taken it in stride because that's all he can do. In recent months, the hatred has been growing deeper, more rooted and...factual? Or thought to be, at least, by one of the sides. Often he has tried to pin down the source of the feeling, because as much as it is coming from him, Virgil isn't in the business of dealing with 'feelings' and this self hatred certainly counts as a 'feeling.' 

Logan, from the start, is checked off in that regard. That isn't his department. 

At first, Virgil thinks it must be Patton. Patton is the heart, and the basest of his jobs is regulating what Thomas feels in response to what. So the feeling of shame when comparing himself to others could be the result of Patton's work. But when Virgil goes to Patton to talk to him about it, he seems happy. With Patton, happiness isn't judged on the basis of smiles or outwardly showing pleasure, though that is part of it, but the basis of physical touch. When Virgil enters the mindscapes homely little kitchen, Patton goes in for the customary Virgil approved shoulder pat in lieu of the suffocating hug he'd normally give to the other sides. 

"Heya son," he greets, beaming big. Virgil glances at the stove where he sees some garlic bread laid out on a pan.

Most people thing Patton's a baker, but he's actually more a cooking man. Patton only bakes when he's upset in some way.

Good sign.

"Hey Pat," Virgil says, smiling shyly as he hops onto the counter, clumsily knocking a metal cup onto the floor.

The duo winces at the ensuing clatter, and Patton smiles nervously. "Almost cup-tured an ear there."

Virgil rolls his eyes at the pun but smiles nonetheless. 

Not Patton then. 

After he watches Patton cook for a while, Virgil wanders into the bathroom to sit in the tub - fully clothed, as he does - and think.

Not Patton, not Logan. Not Virgil, certainly, he would know if he was giving off more than normal levels of that kind of thing.

Would he though?

Not the time.

Not Janus, his purpose of self preservation goes directly against that.

One of the twins then.

Virgil sighed as he came to a conclusion. It was Roman. Remus would never hate himself, he had too much unearned confidence for that. But what's caused this spike in insecurity in Roman? It's been awhile since the whole wedding - callback fiasco, at least a month or so, and he had seemed more open to everyone. Maybe it's a facade...

Virgil lets his thoughts spiral for a minute, tries to organize them into most and least likey.

Most likely - Roman is still spiraling from that whole...thing.

Least likely - Roman is insecure because Virgil's a terrible friend and can never do anything to help anyone.

Most likely - Virgil isn't alone in not realizing Roman's struggles because Roman is a great actor.

Least likely - Virgil is the only one that didn't realize because he's a terrible friend and can never do anything to help anyone.

Virgil - ultimately due to the overwhelming anxiety over approaching Roman over such a thing - decides to wait and watch to see what the best course of action is.

~ ~ ~

The first opportunity Virgil has to observe Roman is, predictably, movie night. They all sink into the real word at six p.m. where Thomas is searching through old DVD's. Janus and Remus are isolated behind the couch, but they're there, and Virgil looks to find Roman. He's late. Is that a bad thing or an okay thing?

Patton is late too, so he supposes he'll wait and see.

Logan lounges on the couch, idly watching over Thomas's shoulder. Virgil perches himself in the corner by the couch's arm and tugs a blanket over his legs. Virgil shoots a glare towards the two behind the couch, but his resolve softens at the less-demented-than-normal grin that Remus shoots his direction.

Roman and Patton rise up together. 

"Heeeeelllloooooooooooooooo!" Roman sings as he rises, raising his arms above his head boisterously. That's not out of place.

"Ro-Ro!" Remus screeches, leaping from behind the couch to play some 'tackle the twin.'

"OFF, you beast!" Roman scowls, pushing Remus's head back as he drools. 

Virgil rolls his eyes. "We can banish you both from the living room if we need to."

Remus grins while Roman gasps. "I cannot miss a movie night! I would be shaaaamed!" Roman falls onto the couch, arm sheilding his eyes dramatically.

Patton and Thomas burst into laughter, and Virgil smirked at Logan's raised eyebrow. The man had no sense of humor.

From then, the movie vote goes smootly. Surprisingly, it isn't Disney. With three of the (former) dark sides present, horror wins by a landslide. Remus giggles jubilously while Patton groans.

"Hold on while I get my stuffed animals," Patton says, sinking out forlornly.

Virgil turns to Roman, who is quiet and looking a little lost. "Scared, princey?"

Roman starts and scowls. "Of course not! A prince doesn't get scared of dumb movies!"

"Whatever you say," Virgil relented.

The seven situate themselves comfortably on or around the couch when Patton gets back. Thomas is in the middle, unsurprisingly, with Logan and Patton on either side of him. Next to Patton is Janus and Remus, hanging over the couch, and next to Logan is Virgil with Roman on his other side. They're all comfortably squished together. They start the movie with no problems.

About halfway in, when the protaganist is walking through a dark hallway calling for the killer - "Stupid!" - Roman begins to get fidgety. Virgil can feel him squirming, but when he turns to check on him, his eyes are glued to the TV stubbornly. The next five minutes continue like that, until Virgil notices the empty popcorn bowl.

"Princey, come get some more popcorn with me." Roman doesn't complain, instead hopping up enthusiastically. They head into the kitchen, the sounds of the movie now comfortingly muffled behind them. 

"Ah, how I...love a good horror movie," Roman says, but Virgil can see his shaking hands.

"Dude, you don't have to pretend you like it if you don't." Virgil closes the microwave door and turns to Roman.

Roman frowns. "I don't wanna disappoint everyone. They seem to like it so much..."

Virgil shrugs. "You can do something else while we finish and then we can watch something else next time."

Roman stares at Virgil, looking hurt. "You want me to leave?"

"No!" Virgil gapes, glancing over the counter into the living room. No eyes have strayed away from the TV. Good. Virgil sighs. "Roman, it's okay to not like the same things as everyone else. I should know. I'm pretty sure I have the most..." he crosses his arms, embarrassed, "outlandish tastes."

Roman continues frowning, though he seems to be considering something so Virgil counts it as a win. "C'mon," he says.

Roman follows him back to the living room, gingerly sitting back on the couch. The movie continues playing.

Virgil feels Roman tap his shoulder. "Can I borrow your sound - blocky headphones?"

Virgil nods and conjures them up easily, handing them over to Roman. He tries not to show his proud feelings, so as not to make Roman feel awkward, but Virgil is proud. Of himself especially. He's actually helped someone for once!

Everyone is content when the movie finishes, though Roman has no idea what it's even about.

~ ~ ~

Virgil doesn't get much more time to observe Roman after movie night. Everything moves very quickly, but one day Roman seems flashy and fine, and the other he is absent.

"Uh - where's our Prince?" Thomas asks confusedly.

Patton fidgets nervously. "He doesn't wanna come out of his room right now buddy, we better give him some time to think."

Immediately, Virgil's senses go off in a panic. He speaks slow, but he knows he still comes off as overly worried. "What happened? Is something wrong?"

Patton chews his bottom lip, glancing over to Janus, who is sharing a spot with Patton for the time being. "I'm...I dunno, I think he just had a bad day."

Thomas frowns. "Well...should someone go check on him?"

Patton is about to volunteer, but Virgil beats him to it. "I'll do it," he says nonchalantly.

Logan looks at him questioningly. "That's abnormal of you Virgil."

Virgil shrugs and pulls his hoodie sleeves down. "I'll be right back."

Virgil sinks out and appears - not in Roman's room - but just outside. He hesitates to knock for a moment, but steels ahead and raps on the door a quick two times. 

"What?" Roman calls from the other side. Virgil can't find anything out of the ordinary in his voice.

"Er - can I come in?" Virgil thinks this would be much easier in person.

There's a pause, and then the door opens. When he steps inside, Roman is on the bed. He doesn't question how he opened the door from there, Roman's room is weird. "Is...everything okay?"

Roman smiles, but it's not very convincing from his half - slouch against the headboard of his bed. "Peachy! Just...napping."

Virgil raises an eyebrow. "You don't nap."

"I do now."

Virgil sighs and sits on the bed. He knows he doesn't need an invitation. "Roman, I know you've been - uh, thinking less than great things about yourself."

Roman's face falls. "Okay, just hop on the 'Roman has issues' train. It left the station a while ago, but you can still board! WHOO, how fun is this!"

Virgil startles at Roman's outburst and looks at him nervously. 

"...Sorry," Roman says.

Virgil swallows. "It's fine."

"I just - Logan says I'm always doing the 'egocentric thing,' and I had to look it up - which means I'm stupid _and_ self centered, by the way."

Virgil is silent for a few moments, searching for something to say. "Well, you remember what Deceit said, right? I mean, part of you has to admit he was right about the whole self care thing. Sometimes, doing the egocentric thing is the best thing. Sometimes you have to put yourselves above others to be able to help them later."

Roman frowns and grabs a pillow to bury his face into. "I don't want to though, because everyone else seems to think that I'm being mean, and annoying, and self centered and critical and-"

"Roman!" Virgil yelps, grabbing Roman's hands. "Stop it!"

Roman looks at Virgil fearfully. "What did I do?"

Virgil glowers at Roman fiercely. "You are not any of those things. You're creative, and fun, and you think outside the box, and you give feedback that others are afraid to give."

Roman's lower lip trembles and he pulls Virgil into a hug. "Thanks."

Virgil nods, hoping Roman can feel it on the top of his head. "No problem."

"So...I can do the egocentric thing?"

"Yes. Yes you can."


End file.
